Pregnant Damsel in Distress

Friend on phone: Nikita, I'm having my baby but I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere on a sideroad, with noone around for miles and my car is broken. Could you come get me, please?!?

Nikita: Oh, thats great!! Sure I can come get....

*Ring ring goes your cell phone*

Nikita into cellphone: Hello?

Person on phone: Josephine.

Nikita to friend: Look, I'm sorry, I have to go. My... aunt isnt feeling well.

Friend: Screw her, I'm having a BABY!

Nikita: I'm sorry, I really have to go. Can't you hold it in?


Just not Girlfriend Material

Nikita: Oh, your chest is so wide, your hair is so curly, your eyes are so green... or are they blue? Anyway your lips are so lickable... mmm... you remind me of someone I know...

Boy Toy: Rreally? Who?

Nikita: Just some manipulative lying cement-hearted cheating son of a bitch who promised me happiness but then conviniently forgot. How I believed all his lies spoken with a French-Canadian accent through a forked tongue as he stroked my body and mind to a place I'll never ever get to again... oh Michael... why? Why?

Boy Toy: Oh... *ahem* really. Have you seen my pants...